If My Dad Had Studied Coaches Instead of Security Managers
From Rigid Systems to Charismatic Traps—And the People Who Keep Calling It Freedom
Updated June 12, 2025: With Father’s Day approaching, I want to use this moment to share something more personal—and structural.
I recently published a Legacy & Lineage page on my website, because it turns out the thread between my father’s work and mine wasn’t just sentimental. It was structural.
He passed away before I ever became a coach. Before I had a business. Before I had the language for what I now teach. But somehow, the questions he asked in his research—and the systems he studied—mapped perfectly onto the work I’ve been called to do.
It reminded me: sometimes, we’re carrying forward something we didn’t even know we inherited.
Even though we worked in different fields—he worked in corporate security and taught criminal justice, and I sang opera and taught voice and entrepreneurship—we were both studying the same thing in disguise:
What happens to people when the system doesn’t fit who they are?
If He Were Writing That Dissertation Today, He’d Be Studying Coaches
(Or maybe I’d be the one writing it—only this time, it wouldn’t be about security managers. It’d be about mission-driven entrepreneurs trying to hold it all together without a system to stand on.)
In 1989, my father earned his doctorate in Educational Leadership.
His dissertation was titled: The Psychological Typologies and Learning Styles of Security Managers in a Large Industrial Organization.
At the time, he was rising through the ranks of corporate security leadership.
His research focused on the dominant personality types in his field, and what those patterns revealed about leadership, learning, and fit.
His findings?
The top two personality types among corporate security managers were ISTJ and ESTJ, according to the Myers-Briggs.
In other words: Rule-Followers. System thinkers. People who thrive inside clearly defined logic, structure, and predictability.
They weren’t just trained to lead—they were trained to lead inside systems that made sense.
Like my father originally found, success wasn’t just about capability. It was about system-fit.
And when the structure only rewards sameness, it quietly sidelines the brilliance that doesn’t conform.
Sound familiar?
Sound like a profession you’re in?
Now, Imagine He’s “Right Back” Researching Today’s Coaching Industry Instead
He’d find a very different cast of characters.
We’re not flooded with ISTJs anymore.
We’re swimming in ENFPs—visionary, expressive, freedom-loving, and allergic to structure.
And INFJs—mission-driven, over-functioning—and often riddled with guilt any time they try to ask for money.
In other words:
Most coaches today aren’t struggling because they lack passion.
They’re struggling because their inner world has no scaffolding to hold the weight of their outer goals.
And if he were writing that dissertation today—or if I were the one writing it now—here’s what the chapters might sound like:
📘 Chapter 5: The Confident Brand, the Collapsing System: What Happens When Identity Outpaces Infrastructure
This chapter examines the phenomenon of coaches who can articulate emotionally compelling visions online—but lack the internal structure to price, deliver, or grow sustainably.
The result? Chronic burnout, leaky boundaries, income roller coasters—and a subconscious belief that ease is unethical.
📘 “PAY-IN-FULL BONUS” Chapter 6: The Canva Carousel and the Holy Ghost: Sacred Overdelivery in the Age of Free Content
A closer look at spiritualized service culture, where coaches feel guilty charging full price—but somehow have no issue designing 40-slide Instagram carousels, hosting three free workshops, building an evergreen multi-level sales funnel, and offering 12 Voxer days… to close a $97 sale.
This chapter explores how “being helpful” has replaced “being paid”—and how monetizing value is seen as less virtuous than performing devotion.
📘 Chapter 7: From Soul to Sale: The Inner Resistance Coaches Experience When Monetizing Mission-Driven Work
This chapter explores how intuitive-feeling types (especially ENFPs and INFJs) experience deep friction between their values and their pricing.
Without intentional reconditioning, they associate asking for money with exploitation—and unconsciously equate overgiving as a requirement for integrity.
This leads to inconsistent income, mounting resentment, and an invisible ceiling they can’t name—but always feel.
📘 Chapter 8: The Ask Is the Audit: How a Single Sales Conversation Reveals the State of Your Inner System
The final chapter brings the data into a single moment: the sale.
Whether you're an ENFP or ISTJ, the moment you name your price becomes a diagnostic flashpoint.
Offer structure, subconscious loyalty to past limits, pricing clarity, nervous system regulation—it all converges (or collapses) the instant you say the number out loud.
📘 Chapter 9: You Couldn’t Quite Name the Problem: When “We’re Like Family” Becomes the Funnel
It felt safe. Supportive. Like everyone had your back.
“Take your time.”
“Every voice matters here.”
“We’re not like those corporate spaces—we’re family.”But the deeper you got, the more familiar it felt.
Vague goals. Soft praise. More pizza parties!
No clear path—but plenty of peer pressure.
You weren’t building a business. You were performing harmony.This chapter traces how many coaching spaces quietly re-create the 9-to-5—trading paychecks for proximity, job titles for emotional roles, and structure for spiritualized team-building.
(If you’ve read the Erl King Returns, you know: some of the most dangerous rides always start with reassurance.)
NOW...here’s the part he didn’t get to write—but I've picked up the baton.
Where my dad charted typologies to job performance, I’ve been charting subconscious patterns to income collapse.
Where he studied system-fit leadership, I’m now helping people build income structures that actually fit their nervous system—so they can lead without contorting, ask without collapsing, and earn without abandoning themselves.
Because what good is your “money mindset” if your internal scaffolding buckles the moment you have to name your price?
The truth is: not all failures are personal.
But most systems are designed to make you think they are.
That’s the trap.
You follow all the steps.
You repeat the affirmations.
You download the templates and attend the trainings.
You try to “be seen.”
You try to “stay soft.”
You try to “lead with love.”
And still—it doesn’t hold.
Because no one taught you how to recognize when the system you’ve entered was never structurally compatible with what you’re trying to build.
No one taught you that “feeling held” isn’t the same as being resourced.
That “being seen” isn’t the same as being tangibly supported.
That “alignment” doesn’t mean putting blind faith in a model that can’t carry weight.
So when things start to crack, you don’t question the structure.
You question yourself.
“I must be blocked.”
“I probably just need to rest.”
“It’s my nervous system—I should regulate more.”
“I should be grateful I’m even doing this work.”
You start trading ambition for accommodation.
Pricing for palatibility.
Strategy for softness.
Structure for vibes.
Until your voice isn’t leading anything anymore.
It’s adapting.
Performing congruence instead of building it.
And that’s how collapse happens—not in one moment, but in slow erosion.
A thousand well-intended choices that made you feel safe, but never made you strong.
The people who sold you the system will still be telling you you’re free—long after you’ve stopped moving.
You’ll still be in the program.
Still in the hidden FB group.
Still an “insider.”
But nothing’s shifting.
And you can’t quite say why—because no one gave you the language to name it.
This is the part most coaching models never teach:
How to diagnose the real misfit between your nervous system, your business model, and your income structure.
You’re told to rest more.
To push less.
To visualize differently.
But what if the collapse wasn’t because you overdid it—or under-believed?
What if the collapse was baked into the architecture from the start?
That’s the part I’m writing.
That’s the part my father never got to.
Where he mapped typologies to job performance, I’m mapping internal structure to earning stability.
Where he studied which leaders thrived in system-fit, I’m helping entrepreneurs build systems that actually fit the way they want to lead.
My work isn’t just mindset.
It’s not just sales.
It’s structural architecture for how income moves, stabilizes, and grows—without betraying the person building it.
In other words: it’s income intelligence.
And when applied with precision, it leads to income integrity—which is the only kind of wealth that actually holds.
Because until your income model is built to hold your voice—
It will keep collapsing beneath it.
A few public-facing options currently available
This isn’t just a chance to work with me. It’s an opportunity to be at the forefront of something new—before the language even catches up. The structural clarity behind my work is already shifting how serious entrepreneurs and creatives approach earning, alignment, and sales.
If you’ve been doing everything “right,” but you’re still not seeing congruent results, my system may be the framework you didn’t know you were missing.
🟩 Summer Group Coaching
Grow Your Money Voice is still in session for the summer, and it’s not too late to get in—I’ll even offer a couple private sessions to catch up and make it worth paying full price! We’re meeting weekly on Thursday afternoons. It’s a structural recalibration for entrepreneurs ready to normalize sales, self-worth, and scalable income. If you’re ready to ask without collapse, this is where we start.
👉 Learn More and Enroll
🟦 Private Coaching
Lucrative Elite 1:1 or a custom structural partnership tailored to your business model, voice, pace, and income goals. For high-capacity leaders who want alignment and traction without performance.
👉 Learn More and Apply or contact me for something more custom.
🟨 Business Diagnostic Sessions
You can now book a 45-minute Strategic Insight Intro Session or a 90-minute proprietary Business Diagnostic Session to address your current business architecture—plus custom strategies to move from structural misfire to congruence and income stability. Perfect for founders, creatives, and consultants who want sharp insight fast.
👉 Reserve Your Session Now
📩 Need alternative availability or options? Interested in a custom training experience for your team, faculty body, or organization? Message me and let’s talk!
