The REAL Psychology of Money
What every bestselling finance book misses—and what your income really needs to hold.
And Why You’re Still Not Earning What You Could!
There’s no shortage of books, podcasts, and gurus telling you how to think, act, and feel about money.
I’ve read most of them—and they didn’t get me any closer to earning what I was worth.
One might say something like “It’s just math, not feelings.” And then another might say, “It’s not about math. It’s about behavior.”
Others yet will say:
“It’s just your mindset.”
“Your bank account reflects your self-worth.”
“Just believe in abundance.”
“Thoughts become things.”
“Just charge more.”
“You just need to do the work the right way.”
“It’s all about discipline.”
The list could go on infinitum…
And yet, too many millions of smart, trained, emotionally intelligent people who’ve read the books and more still can’t make their income match their level of competence, intelligence, and integrity.
WHY???
Because all of this traditional advice focuses on behavior—but without understanding structure. Moreover, the behavior is often paired with shame and guilt, and there’s often little acknowledgement of how the behavior could have resulted from force, coercion, or desperation.
They’ll look at the surface-level habits, mindset, discipline, and performance.
But they’ll never ask: “What’s the architecture of how this person is living and earning?”
And if the structure is misaligned?
No belief, budget, or branding trick will hold.
📉 Why So Many People Stay Broke—Even When They're Doing Everything "Right"
Most of the broke or under-earning people I know aren’t clueless or lazy. They’re highly qualified, highly educated, and full of integrity—or they would be fuller if they could afford to be.
They can count.
They’ve done affirmations.
They’ve invested in their growth.
They’ve read many of the books.
They’ve raised their rates.
But something still collapses.
Not because they’re self-sabotaging…
But because their income behavior—how they earn, ask, deliver, and receive—is still coded into a structure that rewards extraction and compliance, not congruence and integrity.
The problem isn’t belief.
It’s behavioral architecture.
Most financial advice is structured around the needs of high-stability, low-empathy, performance-rewarded individuals. Most of the books assume that’s you with a safe, secure, good-paying salaried job with benefits. It’s kind of like, as I mentioned in a post last week, how so many assume anyone can just get any decent 9-5 job.
Let’s look at some of these bestsellers...
🔍 Book by Book: What They All Miss
The Psychology of Money – Morgan Housel
Every time I pick up this book and flip through it, I read more of the same familiar patterns: reflections on emotion, anecdotes about luck, and yet another reminder that money isn’t about intelligence, but behavior. True, to a point. But Housel never teaches what to do with that information. No diagnostic. No correction. No map. It’s more like a validation manual so people can feel better about their past financial decisions; it definitely doesn’t help entrepreneurs trying to make more money now.
The biggest issue isn’t that his reflections are wrong, but they’re shallow. He points out emotional patterns, but he never offers structural corrections. For underearners, freelancers, or emotionally overextended professionals, the advice to “be patient” or “think long-term” doesn’t help much. An index-fund won’t stop your nervous system from collapsing during a sale. And you can’t build income from anecdotes.
Housel reminds us that money is emotional—but he leaves out what makes it livable.
It’s reflection, not redirection.
And for those of us trying to actually earn, not just preserve—that’s not enough!
The Total Money Makeover – Dave Ramsey
Ramsey’s system is strict, binary, and shame-based. It might stabilize short-term chaos, but it offers nothing for people trying to build income—unless you count becoming an affiliate and selling his products. His advice is rooted in restriction and obedience, not in expansion, self-trust, or structural alignment. It only works if you already have a stable salaried job and the emotional and physical capacity to endure extreme austerity.
Ramsey preaches self-denial as financial salvation but leaves out the real-world consequences. There’s no disclaimer warning you that a steady diet of ramen noodles and expired pantry items might mean paying more at the doctor than what you save at the grocery store. His method is survivalist economics for people who want to believe poverty is only a personal moral failure, not a systemic design. If you’re a single parent, a freelancer, a trauma survivor, or anyone earning from your own power instead of a corporate payroll—his framework isn’t just unhelpful. It’s dangerous.
But to Ramsey’s credit, when I once applied for an executive coaching role at his company—and I even said I’d move to Tennessee immediately!—I got the rejection email within an hour. So at least he could teach a lot of HR departments something about efficient application response rates.
In hindsight, it makes sense.
I’m not building my work to fit inside existing frameworks.
I’m building it to address what those frameworks leave out.
So I’m following Buckminster Fuller’s advice: Don’t fix the old models. Build the one that makes them obsolete.
From the Trash Man to the Cash Man – Myron Golden
Golden teaches prosperity through boldness and high-ticket sales. But he ignores structural misalignment. His system glorifies dominance—leaving behind those wired for depth, nuance, and emotional congruence.
He introduces a popular framework called the “Four Levels of Value,” which suggests that people earn more as they move from doing basic labor up into managing, then into communicating, and finally into imagining and creating. While it sounds empowering, the model quietly reinforces a rigid value hierarchy that doesn’t hold up in the real world. It implies that only extroverted, persuasive, or visionary behavior deserves higher pay.
This framing ignores the fact that many high earners can thrive not because they can talk more, but because their behavior is congruent with how they create and deliver value. Not everyone needs to be flashy on Instagram or loud at networking events to earn well. People don’t need to climb a ladder—they need to stop contorting themselves to fit on someone else’s step.
Rich Dad, Poor Dad – Robert Kiyosaki
Robert Kiyosaki’s Rich Dad Poor Dad is treated like a financial awakening for anyone trying to “think differently” about money. The idea that assets matter more than income is catchy, but beneath the metaphors, the book offers little real guidance for people trying to earn congruently. It divides the world into rich thinkers and poor thinkers, but it gives no real map for how to cross that gap without internal collapse. It glorifies entrepreneurship without teaching how to price, hold value, or build income that doesn’t sabotage your nervous system.
His follow-up, Cashflow Quadrant, makes a valid point about the tax inefficiencies of self-employment—but otherwise treats employees and solo business owners as financially inferior. It assumes that structure is hierarchical, not behavioral. But buying real estate or launching a business without congruent earning behavior doesn’t lead to freedom—it just shifts the pressure. The quadrant may show where money flows, but says nothing about how to hold it without burning yourself down.
📚 And A Few Others:
💼 The Millionaire Next Door – Thomas Stanley & William Danko
Stanley & Danko reveal that most wealthy people live modestly—but their answer is restraint, not income transformation. They frame success as frugality, not expansion. Personally, I’m not interested in driving a UPS truck for 40 years before I’m “allowed” to enjoy a million dollars—and most can’t just settle into one job and expect to save their way to freedom.
💳 I Will Teach You To Be Rich – Ramit Sethi
Sethi teaches automation, negotiation, and permission-based spending. It’s great if you already make six figures and need help prioritizing fiscal discipline with your spouse. But it never addresses how to earn more—and it won’t help you if you collapse the moment you’re asked to raise your prices or promote yourself publicly.
💼 Overcoming Underearning – Barbara Stanny
Stanny was one of the first to name under-earning as a psychological pattern. But once she names it, she offers few solutions short of asking for a raise or saving more. Rather than build a new, structurally sound system, you may finish this book feeling like your only hope is to pinch your pennies harder and stay married.
👛 Her First $100K / Financial Feminist – Tori Dunlap
Another book that implies you can be free if you’re just financially literate enough. Dunlap teaches younger women how to invest and budget—but it assumes you already have a secure job that pays you enough to do it. That “First $100K” is for employees putting money into a retirement account over 5-10 years, not for business owners trying to get $100K in revenue ASAP.
🔮 Ask and It Is Given – Esther & Jerry Hicks
This Law of Attraction bestseller reframes desire as sacred and visualization as powerful. But for most people, it’s not a spiritual law—it’s a performance. It offers no tools for those whose income behavior is wired for overfunctioning, collapse, or emotional survival. You can’t manifest abundance if your nervous system senses danger. Without the right income structure, “alignment” becomes avoidance.
📈 Atomic Habits – James Clear
Clear’s system is great for predictable tasks. But many people’s income is entangled with emotion, value, and visibility. You can optimize your morning routine and still undercharge by noon.
🚨 What They All Have in Common
There are hundreds of other books I could name. And some of these books—especially those written by women—were vital first steps for many, and most offer something useful: an insight, a reframe, or a tool. But even the most empowering messages can hit a wall when the structure underneath doesn’t change.
And collectively, they reveal something much bigger:
The entire financial self-help industry is built to manage symptoms, not restructure systems.
Each author isolates a different piece of the problem: mindset, behavior, saving, debt, or belief. But you likely need a steady 9-5 job to implement. None of them address the real root of financial stagnation—a misaligned income architecture that quietly punishes people for how they’re wired to create value.
They don’t teach you:
How your nervous system governs your pricing
How your behavioral patterns distort your ability to receive
How identity misalignment sabotages your growth, even when you’re doing everything “right”
How your income is only as stable as the structure you’re operating inside
Instead, they keep offering the same recycled formulas:
“Think differently.”
“Budget better.”
“Raise your rates.”
“Work harder.”
“Just believe in yourself.”
These aren’t real solutions. They’re coping mechanisms wrapped in content.
They treat money like a mindset problem—when it’s actually a structural problem with behavioral consequences.
And that’s exactly why I had to build something new.
🗣️ Why I Had to Write This
I didn’t set out to be a financial thought leader.
I wasn’t trying to be trendy or inspirational.
I just wanted to be a college voice teacher by day and an opera singer by night.
But the systems were never built to let someone like me in.
I built this because I had to. Because I’ve lived through:
Pricing panic
Teaching burnout
Service over-functioning
Structural gaslighting
Voice suppression
Financial abuse
Talent extraction
Professional erasure
And somehow—I still built something that works.
Not just for me, but for the people no other system was built to hold.
Not the high-performers who are already rich.
Not the corporate climbers with safety nets.
Not the loudest in the room.
But for the ones who’ve been surviving misalignment for years—and are finally done contorting themselves just to participate.
🔨 The Structural Fix
What I’ve built isn’t a mindset shift.
It’s not a motivational framework.
And it’s not another set of surface-level business tips wrapped in personal branding.
It’s a structural correction for people who’ve been earning inside systems that were never designed to support their actual behavior, energy, or identity.
Because once you understand that most financial advice is structured around the needs of high-stability, low-empathy, performance-rewarded individuals—it makes sense why it never worked for you.
What I’ve created gives you what those systems never could:
A diagnostic to uncover the specific behavior patterns you're using to earn—and why they may be leaking value, collapsing under pressure, or misfiring at the point of receiving.
A structure to realign your income model with your natural power, pace, and capacity—so you stop building success that punishes you.
A language to communicate your value in a way that doesn’t require apology, over-performance, or energetic debt.
It doesn’t require you to be louder, tougher, richer, or luckier.
It doesn’t ask you to “just believe harder.”
And it doesn’t punish you for how you’re wired.
Because no budget, belief, or branding strategy will fix what’s fundamentally a misalignment between your internal structure and your income model.
That’s what I solve.
Not just so you can earn more.
But so you can earn in a way that finally fits—without burnout, apology, or emotional labor masquerading as self-worth.
📣 The Turn
I’ve been teaching business through the lens of voice pedagogy in recent articles. But moving forward, that voice will be even more direct—my own: present, unfiltered, and future-aligned.
Consider this the moment I stop softening the truth to make it palatable for niche audiences.
Because I’m not here to make things “relatable.”
I’m here to make them real.
I’m not just a teacher; I’m a builder.
What I’ve built is a structural system that replaces performance with congruence, shame with clarity, and burnout with sustainable earning power.
I’m done watching brilliant people collapse inside systems that were never designed for their survival, let alone their success.
And I’m done pretending someone else already solved this.
They didn’t.
I did.
If you’ve been reading this and thinking, “This is me,”—then this is the moment to do something about it.
In addition to a couple of private client spots starting this summer, Grow Your Money Voice is still open—and it’s not too late to join.
It’s a 90-day recalibration designed for entrepreneurs and high-achieving under-earners who are done guessing—and ready to build a business that finally holds.
If you’ve ever said, “I know I’m meant to be earning more, but I don’t know what’s off,”—this is where we fix it.
This is your last chance to join us. Click here to claim your spot.
Send me a DM if you need options or have questions.
Let’s build the structure your income’s been waiting for.
